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danne |
Friday, May 02, 2008
blam! floodlights •
 do you know, my heart skips a beat when you speak about confidence- what kind? i'd like to ask, but any-way we're still sashaying around one another from day to glorious day i am immensely unprepared for the SATs tomorrow. if somehow i end up in a American university i swear my peers will murder me for how little i've spent on getting ready for this and getting in besides, haha. but whether or not that may happen.. is another cloud of thought altogether. i'm doing fractions of tests on and offline right now, should really print the admissions slip soon. these have been busy days, busy busy weeks but i don't even really recall where they went. i do think it's time to snap out of unfeeling-ness, at whatever risk. i'm sick of being blank, hahahahah, so help me. mostly i've been immensely tired from chorale. there have been a few more good moments, though sometimes it still seems like people can't feel and sing at the same time. furthermore i've pinpointed/been shown precisely where+how my technique needs improving, so i have Renewed Sense of Purpose when it comes to singing (: have been working on it. but oh well times is short these days, i'll get to it once this rush period of a week and a half is over. i do have a sense of how i've slowly developed vocally over these years of choral music, and well. i guess i don't regret it, staying through. it's never been for nothing, and there are always good times and bad times, (however disproportionate it seems all depends on your expectations, doesn't it). i promise never to stop expecting more, expecting something even more picturesquely beautiful. events coming up are i) SAT Reasoning Test tomorrow, ii)chorale concert, iii) trip, iv) CT2s, v)Singapore Garden Festival + Art Festival, vi)superhardcorefulltime mugging. which really should begin earlier. i'm listing them over and over to myself. also, knowledge and inquiry independent study thesis architecture admissions portfolio university research(to be done!) also, vocal lessons getting back into top form golf, squash, basketball, frisbee language course if necessary getting a job taking the effort to clean up and be proper. and i don't know. ice skating? i thought i wanted to, and not just for that, but they say i'm too old and i have to agree hahahhahaa whatever man. oh and i need to go spend money on clothes after concert i swear i have too many t-shirts, people keep giving them to me. this is like one of- how many? psyche ups into the game of life, which has to happen when you're at the sign-ups. i'm just.. taking it a step early and doing it during the pre-match games, i guess. might as well make the most of it and take it as a practice for the real one, even though it's a completely different ball game. because after you grow up, you can't say, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose, as easily anymore. we are going to win this together. 9:56 pm |