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  • i'm done!
  • erstwhile acquaintances to lifelong friends
  • so we all behave like we're that shallow
  • we told each other there is no other way
  • laying the wash
  • these are our personal wars; do we face them alone?
  • treasuring her for all it's worth
  • compose yourself
  • i have a theory
  • don't know what to do



  • please leave a message, after the post.
    ???

    i'm such a disappointment, ain't i. well, too bad. i'm going to do my stuff, then nobody won't think i'm such a failure anymore.

    bloody parents. just came back. i'm outta here as soon as i have the cash, seriously. of all the two-faced backstabbers...

    ugh. i'm almost ready to die, stupid headache. why is it that when you most need someone, you can't go to anyone? all sorts of dumb excuses, this world gives me. you'll hurt them, you will hurt yourself, you will destroy yourself... come on. i fear nothing of death, except that it will be awhile till i see my loved ones again. blehh... and i'll never see some of them. and it'll be all my fault.

    the irony of this world is disgusting. everyone who're full of crap is made to look so good, and then.. the people i love are admitted to such torture. wt-. give me strength Lord... give me strength to throw down all these.. adherences.. and only save those who i would dare to love. then i just want to go home to you, Lord. riches and life, it means nothing to me. all the happiness for which i could wish lies in being with my friends, in the happiness of us, as one. in you, Lord. in heaven, for eternity. then there will be nothing left to fear, then i can be with all who i love for ever. what more can i ask for, Lord? nothing.

    i'm going for camp. hm.. math remedial, i'll think about it. bio.. i doubt it. but i'll see. all in time.

    right now, i need panadol. and.. dare i say it?




    nope.





    get me outta here.


    Monday, May 23, 2005












    The Keys to Your Heart



    You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

    In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

    You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

    You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

    Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

    Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

    You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

    In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

    What Are The Keys To Your Heart?


    hahhahahahaa.... stupid stuff. got it from danne, of course hahahaa... but its really kinda accurate. haha.. okae. maybe not kinda. may it's just. hahahaa..

    had this really... great dream yesterday. today. the previuos night, anyway... i can't quite remember what happened... so many things were gonig on, and we were going places and stuff.. sigh*.. haha i guess it's not something tt can be written down. haiz.. nt sure i want to tell ppl. and for da last time, it's not tt. yeesh... ppl are so sick nowadays... ><

    people would give up so much, just for time to pass slower... i guess i would to, if i could.. but right now, if it could pass a little faster.. i think i wld do tt... everything seems so stuck-halfway, kinda... haha.. but tt's stupid. it's really not anything i can't do now, i think.. what makes me think just because i'm a little older and in a different environment will change things..

    i guess i can only hope.. haha.. otherwise it's quite hopeless. yes, i am unsatisfied with me right now, i do want to change me.. hahaa.. is tt really such a bad thing? all this being yourself ideology.. it's not really about not becoming a better person, i'm sure. well.. i guess it's all in the eyes of the beholder.. hahaa... so wierd.

    tt warm fuzzy feelin' can't be gotten any other way. nope nope nope. haha... it was just a dream. but it will become reality. well, only tt part. >< yeesh~ haha... can't quite remember the rest, but there was school and drugs and ugh >.< aahahaaa...

    hm.. shall i flood this page with more wierd quizes? lemme go get a coin and flip.. `hahaa...

    okae~! it came out heads! lol here we go.. i guess. hahaha so dumb.

    Your Dominant Thinking Style:

    Exploring

    You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name.
    You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs.

    An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles.
    You show people how to question their models of the world.

    Your Secondary Thinking Style:

    Visioning

    You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.
    You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.

    An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.
    You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.


    What's Your Thinking Style?


    haahahaahaha... these things are actually accurate. unlike some other sites haha... on we go..

    bwahaha.. this one is huge. get ready...




    You Have A Type A- Personality


    A-



    You are one of the most balanced people around
    Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
    You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

    When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
    Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
    You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds


    Do You Have a Type A Personality?

    anyways.. holidays are coming, loads of assignments to hand in before it arrives, and can't wait for camp~! yea.. gonan be awesome. gonan have paintball or something like that. cool. top fragger gets some prize.. =D watch out folks..

    chow~!




    Monday, May 16, 2005


    April showers bring May flowers.
    what do these raindrops mean, then?
    fifth month clouds do more than glower;
    troubles that come, then come again.

    they are playing with me. my feelings. my instincts. my interpretations. suddenly they come, and tell me something, then they're gone. they tease me; they call upon their other friends. the sky is darkened now, for all of us.. i wouldn't wish my fate upon anyone. maybe it's cause you don't deserve it, or it's because you deserve so much more. i'll just say it's probably the latter. but no matter. the sky is darkened now, not for me only, but for us all. take shelter my friends. it is available to you. me, i have business out in the rain. with the rain. with the sky. i have things that i must settle with them.




    "Dear God, I pray that e weather would b cold and windy w/o the sound of
    thunder n lightning... "



    i wish that too. who wouldn't. it's only reality. or is it. sunny days are so far away, rain is.. welcomed. even when the sun does shine, it all seems so... fake. shallow. and so i find it is; the very next day, it's all gone, faded to nothing. so i've come to embrace the rain. perhaps there is really a good day ahead; but i don't dare to hope. not anymore. not till the final day is here, when that promise is ready to be fufiled..

    but while i'm, we are on this earth.. everything that happens, it all just seems so.. fitting. maybe not to you; but then the omens don't always speak to you, tho there is always something to be learnt. perhaps it is to another. but there really isn't any way to find out. not that i know of. the rain, and the storms, and the lightning and thunder. it all means something to me. maybe i was wrong. you can know, if it is speaking to you. but then, there are times when i just don't know. just don't know...


    "duno. i really feel like dying. the flu, the school, everything. i wish tml i wake
    up, have high fever or sth. i really wana die le. really, i wana play. i wanna
    play. i feel like exploding. i duno. miserable feeling."
    i'm sure all of us feel that way. hm. or not. people areound can be so fake, so toy-like at times.. you wonder if they're just some NPCs in this game world of ours, in which everything is turning out so screwed.. but life goes on for them, and we can only fall to our knees under the strain and stare, and wonder. and fantasize.

    but i'm digressing.

    there are so many people around me, who i really care about. i don't know if that's how it is for other people, or if anyone feels that way about me, but that's not the point now. sometimes... no, most times. i can only watch from afar. there are things i just don't understand, maybe, but mostly i just don't know how i can get closer to you now. at this stage. before it's too late, and there's no way, no how i can ever see you again, no matter what i sacrifice. i know, someday something like that will come. call it a premonition; i just know.

    how can you not want to be happy? i want you to be happy.. doesn't that matter? maybe i'm being selfish.. but seeing you upset all the time, it really tears, you know. shreds. haiz.. perhaps it's the same for me. i really should understand. towards other people.. perhaps it's the same feeling. but i don't understand. i still don't understand..

    once in a while, as i look on from my little spot afar from your life, i catch a glimpse of something. something different; something special. are you happier? i don't know.. i don't know so many things about you, no matter what i may try to convince myself. but i sit down, and think. i have to face the reality. it's not because of me; i did nothing. and it's not for me; it can't be, cause you don't even know i'm here..

    and that's what rends. someone else. selfishness.. is it that bad? in this sense..? is it so wrong.. i don't know. but i know it's not for me. but i'm still here.


    "Someone told me that when guys don't say anything, it means they're thinking a
    lot. why? if you have things that you're thinking about, why don't you say it
    out?"

    i don't know. i hate to repeat something so many times, but it's just so.. persistant. so conspicuous. people are so.. unlogical. how did we even coin the term, 'logic'. nothing makes sense; nothing that we do. nothing that matters. yet we can survice in a world that goes around based on logic. or does it.. whatever it is, it's happening. and it confuses me. how can that be? i'm part of this whole conspiracy...

    i don't know. i guess.. i guess it's cause we think. too much. i think i do. ..? things just aren't what they seem.. maybe all of you, you think we don't care. we don't notice anything. i don't know.. but i do. too much? perhaps not, or there really wouldn't be any way for you to think that i don't notice. but i do notice things. haha. perhaps, things that you don't notice that i notice. hm.. on that note, i haven't really been paying attention if people notice.. haha...

    the thing is, we can only guess. i can only.. guess your reaction, guess how you will feel. there are so many negative possibilities. so silence seems to be such a favourable option. well... i supposed that at the most, after a short experiece it's possible to tell that it really isn't... just taking a chance may be better, but i don't want to lose any more relationships. maybe i'm complacent.. willing to just hang on. but i don't want to lose any more people. in any way. in any way.


    i don't want to hurt you.
    cause then i'd get hurt too.
    these feelings, i know they're true;
    but all i can remember is: i musn't hurt you~


    but then, sometimes i get the feeling you don't really care either. some people. do you even have the ability to. are you just an NPC. please don't bluff me anymore.


    "I have to tell you something. It's not true. That. What they say. It's
    not true."

    everything feels so.. incomplete. i'm starting to believe that it's not possible to complete anything; after all, eternity will go on for... eternity. well.. maybe that's just a very human point of view. but hey. i'm only human.



    "Connecting... Please do not unplug synchronization wire..."

    It's really all so fragile. it is, it is... all just held together by a single thread. what will happen next? who knows.. i just pray that everything works out, between us.. it just has to. or i don't know how i'm going to continue living.. i don't think it'll be possible to be happy again.

    i don't want to live in the storms all the time. i don't want to come to tolerate the tempest.


    what can i say. what can i say. that's what we always say, and it's all i can say now.



    please come. back. please come.


    Saturday, May 14, 2005


    stating facts huh. you really like to state facts.

    let me state some facts for you. i hate my parents. since my very existence in your vicinity is an antagonisation to you, let me do "the only thing in my power to do for you at this age". I swear that as soon as i have the monetary ability to get out of your physical household, i will. I will desist from coming into physical cnotact with you for any reason except to make you get as far away as i deem comfortable from me as possible, and i will make no demands on your moral or mental standards.

    there. i finially swore something. something substantial. a full life of verbal and physical skirmishes does nothing. abstaining from swearing anything has done nothing. this i swear, before God and all the people of the world.

    i will get out. and further from you than you may ever have imagined. physically and emotionally. the only thing i have to say to you that means anything anymore is this: thank you for all the "experiences" you have given me; i can no longer get too emotionally upset due to anger, only to crush the cause of anger so i need not be angry any more. and no further.

    now.


    go away.


    * * *


    past few days have been very... forgettable. so many things have been happening, i really don't know what to think. how to interpret it all. somehow, now, it's all gone.

    maybe it's like the omens, as they say. ignored, they leave. yet in another, still ironic way. escapism... subconciously, we erase them. our of our memories. and so i'm left standing. and so i'm still alive.

    there's so much i want from myself. other things i already expect. yet somewhere deep inside.. i know which are the things i can achieve in time; the things that i cannot ever; the things than i could do now, if only; other things, which i can accomlish, but never will. by force or by choice; so.. vague, it is. by human nature, we struggle with ourselves, we struggle with our environment, we struggle with right, and wrong, and God and rules. utterly and hopelessly loss, and God is my only escape. *sigh*~ praise the Lord for His... very existence.

    all things in time. all things in time~


    Wednesday, May 11, 2005



    You are a freeform writer. Individualistic with a
    sense for the different and challenging, Walt
    Whitman and his poetry lacking meter and rhyme
    is just what the doctor ordered. You're quick
    to write something that the rest of the world
    doesn't accept as poetry, quick to separate
    yourself from the average joe. An author with a
    true sense of self, you have confidence in your
    abilities and aren't afraid to show it. :) GO
    YOU!

    What's YOUR Writing Style?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    yea.. today was okae, i guess.. nothing much happened really, can't really remember. erm, there was something going on in the morning... yea.. erm then there was this MOE guy talking about JC curriculum just before lunch, then went to settle the stuff for the ORA event this weekend... hm pretty much settled there, i think.

    then went out loh.. so sianz today, arthur and chinee suan me and joel ah, just go off and watch The Pacifier. i was like, what, you haven't watched that yet. go lido and watch Kingdom of heaven. then he was like, aya, dowan to go so far, want to come back for exco meeting. like, joel is in the exco and he's not even going? lol and arthur isn't still want to crash... anyways in the end dunno what happened to him, somehow ended up in orchard for no discernable reason, then went to joel's club loh. only three people, so sianz.. played 9ball, ended up pwnzing two of then, lol dunno. joel is like, way better than me loh.

    go bowling, so stupid. last time getting 150 easy, now can get 100+ good liaoz. lol.. wt lah. dun care. forget everything on the court. hmm.. hope to play sometime soon, outside school. see how loh.. hols are coming right? anyways, this period before hols, nothing happening, shuper slack anyways.. can just plae. if there's anyone interested.. haiz.

    ooh. had the weirdest dream yesterday nite.. lol.. right now can't exactly remember, gotta sit down and think, but there was a lot of weird stuff. usually is. i hardly ever dream. as in, sleep dreaming. well. it was fun. lol. some stuff about water, and *someone* and *someone's brother*, lol, erm and some other random stuff. there was something important.. really hope that it's a sign or something. cause really couldn't get myself to do something for like, the longest time, and then there's this dream,. well, we'll see. lol dreams.

    well. things seem to have settled down. seems tt it's all back to normal.. somehow. there was a disturbance in the force *lol* but now it's gone. no idea what that was about, but now it's back to normal, i guess i'm just glad, but then there's always' what if tt goes and does it again?'~

    ah well. life goes on. in da end, God's in control, so it'll all be alright, hor? =)


    Tuesday, May 10, 2005


    `hey.

    training tmr suddenly cancelled... then they still say want to cancel bowling party summore. aya. dun care. joel arthur and a bunch of us dun care the com already, just go. got com meeting summore at 3.30, i think i go and crash oso lah. hahaa..

    oh. adrian will be there. forget it.

    today school totally waste time lah.. work exposure programme, wanted to go for the journalism thing, budden dunno where to sign up, then cannot find arnold ask him go with me, then more fun. so didn't lorh. sianz. lots of ppl will probably be going, so camp in june won't be so fun. nvmind lah, go and kajiao the sec ones and twos..

    haiz~ today bob koh public caning. good lah, bob koh, this is your first contribution to the school. cane a sec 4Q student. i oso duneed to tell you what the school has to say about you. lol.. so ironic. from 4Q. hm. tt's also adrian's class.

    nowadays after exam, no mood to do anything lah.. brain dead, do everything oso dead one. haiz... feel so.. disillusioned. well, not exactly.. lol` hopping around the net, reading random stuff. interesting things happen around the place.. hm. people are seriously weird. i wonder how God keeps from either laughing perpetually or boiling up and destroying this stupid world. haa.. only by His grace.

    you are a funny, sad little girl. i dunno. maybe i shouldn't try to judge you, but it seems i already did; and it was a misjudgment. sigh... feel really felt to bluffed. is that all that matters to you in your life? is there no more meaning to your existence than doing *that*, and causing so many boys and girls misery? it may not seem that way.. but you always seemed so nice. so really didn't want to say anything. but i see things in s new light... i really should stop now. i'll have to just stop and watch and not say anything for the time.. it's probably not my place to, yet. but that's not the point.. *~sighxX..

    anyway...bob koh was going on about the PSC scholars, and whatever scholars, who got into the news lately; the racist one, or the bribe one, whatever. rambling on and on, until he suddenly shut himself up. bob koh... i think he's a man of good sense lah. otherwise he wld never have gotten this far so quickly. for one thing, none of the students gave a hoot about the PSC or the guy who supposedly tried to bribe the SAF guy. personally, i think that it's completely ridiculous, a single offer mentioned only once in a light, casual situation can hardly be considered a bribe. unless he insisted or repeated his request, or it was in some formal setting. but that's beside the point. nobody really cares if these people "tarnish the school name"; not even 99% of the staff, i'd bet. cause it doesn't really.

    secondly, he must have realised he was going on, and on, and on. like some, teacher. scolding people. yeesh.. if you have half a brain, you will remember teachers scolding you when you were a student, and frankly if you really care about your students, even if you think your reprimanding is justified, you will have some sort of.. nostalgia, no? remember the stupid, irritated feeling. so he shut up. i dunno why i think this is the reason he shut up; it could just be the first. but i think there's more to bob koh than simply just robotic logical thinking, no matter how it seems. not that i'm going soft on him. the school isn't too impressed with MOE taking away our fantastic Mr. Wong and replacing him with bob koh, who hasn't done too much lately. but we just have to give him some time, i guess.

    blogs. about them. something from a friend's blog.

    the fact is,
    * our blogs are not under their jurisdiction.
    * our blogs are under the
    control of ourselves, and to a very small extent the host of our blog (blogger
    or diaryland or whatever)
    * therefore, they have absolutely no right to use
    the school rules to punish us for comments that we post on our blogs
    * the
    constitution provides for our right to free speech
    * the computer misuse act
    does not have anything relating to electronic defamation
    * the defamation act
    requires that the basis of any allegation is false for an allegation to be
    considered defamation
    * thus if they feel that we are defaming them on our
    blogs, they can only sue us for defamation in court, and they have to prove that
    the basis of our allegations are untrue.
    * to put it simply, THEY HAVE NO
    RIGHT TO PUNISH US IN SCHOOL FOR WHAT WE WRITE ON OUR BLOGS

    relevant documents may be found at statues.agc.gov.sg
    --end of legalese--


    i couldn't have said it better myself. they keep on going, "oh, we'll give you a chance, don't report to police, don't take you to court. " they truth is, they really have nothing to go by!? they cannot win a lawsuit against us, if we even bother to have one against them, it will be the whole school behind the student who is charged, and noone behind the school, because the teachers will not want to get involved as far as possible, the students don't want to appear to be betrayers, and thus the only people who will appear on the scene are students for the one who is charged. the only problem is that it's a waste of money having a lawsuit, but shouldn't be a problem if the school insists. you people can mock RI boys, saying what, high IQ, low EQ no CQ. blehh. you don't know a thing. what, you think you are a minister then you have the right to judge us? i have no idea whether or not you are an old RI boy, but you most certainly do not know the current situation in our community. if anyone will dare to rise up against one of our number, rest assured that we will retaliate with a force unstoppable to squish your outrageous accusations. we have our morals. if we know what your doing is wrong, and even worse, it actually affects us or our fellows(call us selfish, that's just the way we are as a brotherhood), you will be crushed.

    they keep on going on about how RI is about the rafflesian family. i tell you, it's nothing of the sort. now isolated from RGS, we are a brotherhood. call us ignorant; not everyone is very informed on the situation in our sister school, but if there's a need i believe we can rise to meet whatever we have to, as both brothers and sisters, as well as students in a community. we don't have too many similarities, but we are branded rafflesian, we suffer the same accusations, are under the same biases, have the same privileges or disadvantages, however you choose to see it. the teachers hardly play a prominent role. not nowadays. not in our schools. out of the staff, there are a select few who many students love and respect, not because they have to, but because these people have earned it. there's no need to name them: we all know very well. these people may not be that well known to everyone, but for the respect our fellows have for them, even through our ignorance we gain a new respect for these people, through the trust in our fellows' judgement. it's not true that you have to be a great man to become loved. in fact, i might go so far as to claim the opposite..

    the boy who was caned was so punished for supposedly hacking into a teacher's account and posting "insulting remarks" and a poll that from my information, has something to do with his hair. this information is questionable; but either way, there is something that i am aware of, personally. that is that, the vast majority of the teachers have not undertaken to change their passwords to the portal which the student entered using a teacher's account. this includes the teacher whose account was entered, according to my sources. unfortunately or otherwise, i did not witness the er, event.

    such incredible stupidity on the teacher's part is unforgivable. you choose to play the role of the devil; tempting students to take action to mock you. furthermore, you are well aware of many students' opinion toward your teaching methods and way of treating students. to top it all off, you were informed by many students, whether or not you noticed, that your account was not properly locked. since you bother to check student's blogs to see how we have been making fun of you, and publicising this event of mockery towards you on our blogs, why did your eyes choose to censor, overlook this detail that so intricately involves you? thus, you have caused the implication of many students in such unpleasant demonstrations such as today's; many more students who have undertaken such erm, activities, but have chosen to use the teacher's account in a more obscure manner, are left to run free; and still, 98% of the teacher's accounts have the same password as their username, and this is a fact that the general student population is aware of. it is only through sheer discipline and moral courage, or otherwise a result of not caring about what happens to you, that the students have not completely flooded the portal with such "obscene" messages, as a member of the staff described it.

    and yet you have the cheek to question our discipline? to doubt our moral courage?


    my fellows have greater that any one of you cowards on the staff, now that two of your number whom i respected most, Mr. Wong and Mr. Leong Wei Shin have left, the feeling in increased.




    the gangs of china laugh at your idea of discipline.


    Monday, May 09, 2005


    this period is irritating. exams over, but then still cannot slack, cause for one thing, there's still school, and for another thing, there's a load of overdue stuff to do and hand in.. seriously not in the mood to do it.. just want to drop *plonk* and slack..

    feeling really useless.. hahaa.. so.. halfway there. yea, getting there, better than before, but so sickening~ i know i'm getting better, but at this rate i'll be an old man before i get there, lol.
    baritone, neither bass nor tenor.. sure, can have the greatest range, but still.. neither here nor there, excelling in neither field.. blehh.

    top sch, bottom of the form.. what's the use. it makes ppl think things, both inside and outside of sch.. in the end it can't be pretty.

    so many opportunities, just so many screw-ups. i'm not born to lead. not the way people expect us to. leaders aren't meant to lead... not in my world. how can one person having a final say in everything make sense.. in the end, the decision affects everyone. somehow, even if it means some people making compromises, everyone has to be in agreement..

    i've decided i really like forums. way better than chatrooms. one person talking at a time, sometimes it's even better than real life. seriously... some people will just babble on and on about something unimportant or just simply minor.. when there are bigger things to consider, to worry about. well.. in that sense a smaller group of people does help. somehow in a smaller group, whenever someone talks it's more personal, it's more like someone talking to someone else. so people listen. haa..

    giving up. humans are such... undescribible beings. "fact of the day: research shows that the words chosen in any conversation only represent 7% of the meaning which the speaker/writer is trying to show. the tone, facial and bodily expression, most notably the expression in the party's eyes shows the remaining meaning of the messege to be conveyed."

    maybe that's why it's so easy to talk online, through forums or msn or chatrooms.. we can hide behind our own words, speak with such.. vagueness, if there is even such a word. when it comes to real life it's suddenly all exposed, i just gotta hide somewhere.

    lol... not really. people are just people in the end. just have to get used to it, i guess... but other people can't. haiz.. lol. starting to feel *like that* again. really don't have a real place anywhere... moving around the place all the time. haa.. hm. just noticed, actually.. the only people i've really actually been with is 6K... and now, it seems that perhaps not really..

    some south korean guy sent me a messenge on friendster to go for some politics/entertainment convention/presentation thing, as far as i could make out.. lol his english was good. ah.. too bad i'm not really in south korea. or am i.. hahhahaaa~ madness

    suddenly can't imagine growing up with someone else by my side. maybe tt's why it's impossible.. lol. i'm not meant to settle down, i have to keep moving around.. sometimes things i actually want to do and am forced to do get so mixed up, i can't remember which is which.. lol. sounds stupid. but in the end, the feelings just get all mixed up, then random things will occur... stupid stuff so often.

    ah well. i'll always have the Lord. and He will have me, no doubt.


    have the omens left me? have i been forsaking them?






    have they even ever been with me?










    are there even omens?




    ugh. low body temperature.

    it's like, 36.3 degrees. what the... took three times over too.


    what does that mean.


    Friday, May 06, 2005


    blehh. exams almost over, but don't really feel much better.

    so many things have been happening over the past few days.. don't really want to blog about it anymore.. haiz~ people everywhere..

    today.. was like; just wierded out. are there really omens? yeesh.. if not, it's really such a superb coincidence..



    it looked me in the eye and told me
    "too late, now ur all alone"
    there was something serious going on
    who knew for good or for bad
    but the Lord, till it was done.

    only half of me is here
    even that half may just go
    serious and fickle indeed
    most ironic of partners
    everywhere are friends in need

    maybe i'm just selfish
    if not then who for me
    love the world
    expecting nothing in return
    nothing, truely, is your reward


    hmm blogger has some sort of bug today.. haiz nvmind


    just want to get over with this exam so i can concentrate on worrying about one thing at a time.. lol


    but will it really be just one thing, after all is said and done?

    too many, not enough,
    time and people and things to do..
    why does it seem when You are most needed
    i find myself calling

    "Lord, where are you?"

    one
    two
    three
    four

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