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Friday, December 31, 2004
beh. happy new year. beh. •beh. i'm i'm going to regret this. i would say i regret this already, but i don't think you can regret something you are doing now.
i'm gonna stay home. i think.
behh. dunno if it's too late for jo's and 6k, watchnite starts at 10 i think, but i don't have to repeat why i feel... wierdness? about going, do i? wait. i can't repeat it, cause i haven't mentioned it cause i don't know. i just do.
waaah. i miss monteray, california. why? hmm... cause of all e holidays maybe. but maybe it was just being-a-little-kid syndrome. every day is a holiday. but..ooo turkey, and pudding, and cranberry pie... lol. you'll never see those kinda stuff any season in Singapore. hmm.
beh. the computer's in me room now, but me little sis keeps bugging me to use it. be gone for a while. stay online till after midnight everyone, if there's a computer where you're going! i need sum peeps to keep me company.
new house •w00t, down at me new place now. finally got the computer set up, and broadband transferred etc. so i'm back online. yupp.
umm.. let's see. for today's rant.. grats to dan for getting into scgs! lol. i dunno. maybe i shldn't be saying this only now,but i always had better feeling of crescent peeps than scgs. but then i don't know a whole lot of scgs peeps. well, i guess it's one more now, and if tt's what you want and what u feel God wants for you, my blessings =)
yea... it's new year's eve today peeps. tonight there's supposed to be watchnite service, as there always is every year at SBBC! da difference is, this is our first year. =P and my parents decided to transfer membership on new year's day or something. finally! hah.
hmm. well, the problem is, 6k's having countdown at jo's place tonite. hm am i welcome? =P i know i said i cldn't make it last time, but tt was cause i tot my parents wld be going to watchnite. now apparently they figures their too busy sorting out all these boxes of stuff in our new home, so my mom called down to sis. alice or someone and said we cldn't make it.
umm. yea. so the thing is, i've finished settling in already =D u shld really come down some time. made my room really homey already. or messy, as my sister calls it. same difference =)
and so, since my parent's wldn't mind me outta their way, i can actually either go down to jo's or to the watchnite service. right now i have no idea where i'm going to go tonight. i cld go to jo's, but then i'd have to decide fast and tell em i'm coming =) orr, if i go to SBBC... um.
it's the old thing again. feel so wierd around da peeps there. they're nice and all, but sumhow just don't fit. like they got enuff ppl. or think so. like i'm always gonan be da new guy.
i tell myself, heyy, ur gonna mug ur head off for the next four years, get a scholarship to go to tokyo and study, then get some job that'll let me travel around the region. if i can. or something like that.
but everyone who travels; from shepherds, to commercial pilots and crew, all have this special place to call home, where they always feel warm and welcome. i really want Singapore to be that place for me, that i can have a special place to come back from all my travels. to have real close friends back home waiting for me, praying for me always, as i for them.
i really want to know ya all and love ya'all more.. the best part of travelling is always coming home and hugging friends you've been missing, telling stories to younger cousins long-time-no-see.
da heck. what's a guy to do.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
baah. •dan. i shall talk to in abstractly through such a channel cause i can't see talking to u again after ur blog. or other wise. lol? hmm.
it's past midnite. just blogged half an hour ago and was like reading everybody's blog.
look. i shall be short and stupid. it's just cause of da confoundation of the man-ity of me, that when the imagination passenges through my uppermost part of body, of such a scenarioness occuring, i cannot be standing it. is just... cannot be being put into wordings by a homo sapiens of my caliber.
ok. after coming back to try to settle this stupid things i haf done i cannot. da heck. i hate saying dis, but this will be e second time in mi life as far as i can be being rememberingness i am saying this. maybe it's a matter of time and experience. and hormones.
sounds stupidness betweenness thouness and mua, but nothing makes much sense to me in this arena. sooo... can ya eva forgive me.
pleeeeease dun make me do dis again too soon : yea i wanna meet up wif yea, truly, but wif all dis counfoundnessness and such... bwaa. ~hic*
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
numb. •sigh. mixed feelings here.
was just packing all da boxes of stuff to bring over to me new cave over at the warren tmr... real cool place, super glad my parents decided to move in instead of sell it for a fifty thousand dollar profit. lol.
dumped all e unimportant stuff into 2 huge cardboard boxes for e movers to ship over, then left all e other stuff. brings back memories...
somehow with all these stuff packed away, i feel better. lol, not cause i can stop packing already after one dusty, stinking day, but cause i don't feel any worse. um. lol.
it's like i can just throw away everything. any time, boss. cause those stuff ain't important to me. the stuff that really are can't be packed into boxes, big or small. they're thoughts; memories, feelings. knowledge. knowledge that the peeps i love are safe. that their going to be in heaven with me for all eternity. well some of them anyway.
and that's why i gotta get going. some aren't.
and some, you just don't know, ya know what i mean? it's like, from what you hear, really know, their like, supposed to. but you just don't know. i guess that's the case for everyone i know, it's just that with certain people it's really unsure. to me.
dat's why i wanna get to know everybody i know better. but sometimes... it's just kinda... i don't know, awkward? shyness? plain stupidity? lol, PMS, permanant masculine stupidity. yea eric, i know it's lame. really. i just can't help myself.
today was supposed to like, how do you call it. meet up with danitza. but... but what. i haven't the slightest idea. ok maybe that's not entirely true, but i just don't know why kae. i'm just being stupid. bleh. stupid stupid stupid. i just thought about it, how it wld happen, and it was so wierd, and blehasdmlaskmda. this is so wrong. if it helps, dan, sorry. slap me when we actually meet. if we ever do. =.=
came across the RJC choral exploits concert leaflet. hong king is in e raffles chorale :D JC 2 this year izit? what university are ya going to? lol. he hardly knows me. but i knew him all da way back from when he was head boy or soemthing in mi primary school. yea.
hoo boy. JC choir really has more gals den guys. super few tenors this year too. like, prob around ten. i didn't count. and so i hate all boy schools even more. it's all right for the girls. but wth. it right screws us guys up to be in a all boys school. esp. during sec sch. like, main growing up time people. what is wrong with you. we gotta get used to regular society dudes.
and so. everything of this world comes only to pass. enjoy it or bear with it while it lasts. yupp. thot of e rhyme when i was packing up. if u need some inspiration go clean your room. it works :D
i am such a screwed up guy. my mask, it's stuck on. can't get it off. do i even want to? i don't know. would that affect how my friends, people i know, people i don't even know treat me? should that even matter?
Monday, December 27, 2004
warp~!?two months into the future •Yupp.. the hols are over. dang. didn't do anything useful. not on purpose anyway. i think.
this year... gonna be seriously monotonous. yup. then friday nite, pArtY! then saturday work, then sunday yay. work like siao, 5 to 12 schedule, here i come.
no kiddin, there's gonna be perpectual project work(the year-long kind), choir twice every week. not on e weekends either.
church is... as per normal? sheesh. no such.. luck? anyway. chapter two is coming up, on that note. stay tuned, kids.
christmas was.. lonely. but its da cool lonely smsing a few peeps and chatting kind. hit down to taka after da screwed-up choir performance, stalked all da way to plaza. bought a couple of last min prezzies(heh heh tammy).
then just stayed up nite like, online, sms. till like, 2. i mean, when ur alone, there just ain't the spirit to stay up too long. yea, boo hoo, poor me, alone on christmas.
church on eve was kinda... disappointing. i disappoint myself. good solid sermon, everybody went caroling, blah blah blah, but wait. i chickened out.
don't kick me yet. somehow i just felt like i wasn't supposed to. I don't know. it's kinda funny when you think about it; if my parents hadn't changed to shalom some fifteen years back... so yea, meiyi. thx and everything, but... how do i put this... i'm human. i'm a guy. now you can kick me.
christmas is over. i'll pretend it never happened, cel, yi, tam, tim, etc. still luvs ya all. over and out.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
my story •wupps. yesterday night... read blogs... until fell asleep at the com. then parents came home. so nothing.
now... nothing better do to that i want to do now. so blogging something here...
new linkage. yay. check it out.
umm. wat to talk about.
i wanna buy new a new headset for mi mp3. any recommendation? big big also can... puny stick inside ears one a bit funny.
behh. just siting around waiting for things to start. got a lot of preperations to do, like buying school books and stuff. but just can't get up and go and do it. what am i going to do wif myself. sigh.
i wanna learn jap. i wanna learn guitar. i wanna go tokyo U and study jap and com animation. i wanna really sing. not in choir type. blehh.
i better stop slacking around if i'm going to get anything done.
i'll get goin sometime... soon.. about now...
no... not just yet... a while more
Friday, December 17, 2004
it's over. •ah. well. it's over.
i got loads to say. but maybe it's not the time. i'll shut up for the time and talk about other stuff. some other time, k.
hmm. wat to say. the camp was good. my team got first. from the last :D heck, so long it was fun, who cares. sad to say though, I can't say i got to know anyone better. dang. beh. oh well. lol. nv mind. ok.
really envy... well, loads of ppl. ppl like, peiyi's family. i mean, they all seem to get along. in the least. most definitely more than just getting along, actually.
evelyn is... wierd. dunno. most everybody's wierd to everyone some extent, but just... dunno wat... beh dunno anything. then parents... dunneed to say bah. u know me for long enuff u should know already. but lately they whole day so irritated at nothing. wake up in the morning first thing i hear is them complaining about something, come back from school also, etc etc.
baaah. u dunno how blessed u are peiyi. i think u'll really figure tt out someday. we're all fortunate in different ways, but... ah.
sigh. feel so bottled up. it's only been like five years. what am i going to do with myself. beh.
the song for the day is... this! I have no idea what the name of the song is, or who those two dudes singing are. whatever. it's a cool song. and it's relevent :P
methinks... methinks i'm going to blog again later tonight. see ya'll.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
camp's here. •welll. church camp begins todayy.. i'll be going late cause going for choir first, then to camp at around 6 when choir is over.
ah. hem. how to say. dunno wat it's going to be like. it's kinda stupid. i hate this kinda stuff. it's like, i've known these people for a few months, but then don't really know then, you get what i mean? so it's like, really awkward.
oh well. just go and haf fun. watever. just takes time i guess... but in the end of eternity of doing nothing u end up with nth rite... wateva.
blah. i better get going for choir soon. gotta go eat lunch too.
hm. today's song for the day is... Richie Ren Guang Liang's "Lang Hua Yi Duo Duo"... I wld write that in chinese, but i haven't installed the chinese typing software in da new com after the ancient notebook finally died. oh well. i'll change it sometime. Enjoy!
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Loading... •Ah. Well. What can I say. There are so many people i want to see. I want to really talk to. Like normal people. Like friends. But why can't I?
I don't know.
Well... schedule is... hm choir on tuesday, then going to church camp at SBBC... got to figure out how to get there from school. hm. I'm don't know half a thing about the buses around singapore. i walk. If it's far i take MRT. But sometimes it's like, I just don't know how to walk, or it's still too far, or there's no time to figure out how to get there, etc. excuses. yea. so i end up like this.
Camp till friday, then carolling. Pretty early huh. Well.
Hmm. Christmas is coming. Again. Sighx.
Merry Merry Christmas
Lonely Lonely Christmas
Lonely Lonely Christmas
Merry Merry Christmas