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Saturday, March 15, 2008
marmalade fires dancing behind my eyelids •
 14th now i'm composed. thank you grace for being a distraction from the issue at hand, i needed something inspersed or i'd start going nuts and never be able to go back to studying. so, thanks, haha. a few things. it's clichéd, but it can't help but find genuine child-like wonder of beauty to be even more wonderful and pleasant to gaze at than anything nature has shown me yet. yes, haha. mm. and i regret not getting to know some people better, by reason of well, psychological segregation. oh well, sigh. oh, and to live my unwanted legacy of "anyone who reads your blog would disagree", i have this to say about the other aspect of today. fsk. yep. study status is falling behind, i realize that the reason why my essays get such pathetic grades compared to humans kids could well be because i'm not so well versed in all the philosophies, sigh. i can't explain them off the top of my head, i see the question then start formulating a structure off the knowledge of the structure that i have placed in my subconscious mind, haha. darn. will treat KI a lot more seriously. also i have not started on art properly. like, writing the vocab lists and doing studies of those imba essays. double darn. today we had quiet moments in botanics, haha. general comfort that just is, without any words. this is what i hope all friendships blossom into, eventually. quiet time in the morning and then ice cream really settled me, before the nonsense i had to face from myself later in the day. thank you (: i have to say i think i really really needed that. have i mentioned? since last thursday, morning till evening in school! well, except sunday. and on two of the nine days i only came to school at lunch. but still! wah tiring. and in hindsight it doesn't really look like i actually got much done, physically. i do feel Mathematically accomplished, though. i don't think i've ever really finished a whole, entire holiday revision paper for math. well.. technically i haven't finished applications of integration, but lalalalalala. so! despite looming CTs and not having studied chem at all this hols(exam on tuesday!!!) we shall have lunch tmr! it's another of those feel wonderful things, to have everyone eating and chatting together. i've been very hypocritical, i think, and overly optimistic. let's try small steps. oh and one last random note. i realized that eating clichéd food just generally gives a good feeling, and i wonder if it's universal. salted pretzels and rich, pulpy orange juice, cookies/pie and chilly fresh milk, toasty buttered croissants and the perfect cupful of hot chocolate/coffee. tea, tea, glorious tea. roasted fowl and something with essence of grape, sipping soda floats in an amusement park with friends, and (my personal favorite ever since you, donchaknow) warm-hot sugary cinnamon churros on a cool blustery day between the rides. food is so mystical, if i weren't supposed to be all educated and blargh i would have gone into cooking properly ages ago, i think. also, if i hadn't discovered architecture and become so adamant about it >< i continue to angst about issue number one till i sleep. goodnight! 10:12 pm |