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Saturday, April 07, 2007
swishing through the swash •
swishing through the swash and foam where the ocean kisses the sand; white grains swirling about our feet and little fish swim away! away! hahahaa.. ok.
thinking about many things.. troubled people, want to help but don't know how. you know. there's the, hm maybe i can do something, go research research, hm i'll get back to you shh you didn't hear that. disappointment is something that i alone need to face in this sense.
the limitless possibilities.. that i've blown. red dot instruction, dance, drawing, drama, singing, violin, performing, languages, cultures, experiences. if only i'd taken that initiative to step out that much and discover all that was possible sooner. pah. it's never enough, whatever one does.
how clinical everything is, how everyone treats stuff. toh's right in that. toh's right in more things than usual; i begin to wonder if it could actually have been me all along-hah! why not. all the greenery, but none of the breezy, comfortable coolness, just lukewarm half-gloss white. distortion of beauty, worse than stuff that's ugly on purpose..? hmf. stuff and stuff. people, architecture, music, art. whatever.
delving deeper into chorale. there's really nothing, is there.. there's nothing anywhere. there's only people. well, fine. people it is. how much can we do. let's do with as little of the ugly and drama in this two years as we can, if you please.. i can be anything you want me to be. just show me. i am everything and nothing, whichever makes you happier. they're the same.
dig up a starfish from the wet sand.
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10:32 pm
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