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Monday, April 03, 2006
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began losing the night by thinking.. it's quite hopeless trying to be good at something, cause someone will be there to own me upside down before i even start.. quite demoralizing. haahh. i mean, yeah. in this world, no matter who you are, there's always someone who's better than you at whatever your doing. unless you're the feller who's better than the second-best guy at whatever we're talking about.
was talking to arnold abt joining canoeing @RJ.. wondering if i can make it. hahaha.. guess try lah. just haveto try to concentrate on just doing it, and stop comparing so much.. haiz. but it doesn't seem right, either way, somehow. and maybe find a training partner in kwok yeong, hahaha.. he actually asked me loh. but now his back injury working up again.. haiz. he better take care of himself lah. he's not even 15 yet. hardcore kungfu squirrel.
i realized the last weekend that there was something that i've always been overlooking.. friends will go. people have lives to live, and for some reason people choose to distance themselves frmo others, at some point of time in their lives.. haiz.. must that happen with the people i know also? there's work, and *other issues in life, but.. i just can't imagine what life would be if we only got further apart. from friends. it would become quite pointless.. for me anyways. i can't live for work, no matter how much i may enjoy it. it's the people that count.
maybe the more important things is eternal.. hahaha.. what maybe. but somehow.. i dunno why i feel the need to think about these things now.
sensitive issues.. just have to make do sometimes. but it just results in speaking things that have no meaning until you clear things up between people.. haiz. i'm yabbering again.
okae. i deleted the whole chunk. it's just too much. people won't be able to understand.. people just aren't able to curb themselves and think about such things objectively.. what we want is peace and satisfaction amongst all of us.. i won't go so far as to say happiness, because it's just not possible for everyone to be happy at the same time. not unless.. hahahah.. but that's another thing. that's my ideal socio-political setting. my little imaginary world of a political system that i dreamt up.. i seriously think it would be better than anything currently in existence. except for one thing.. hahahh. i'm talking too much already. you don't really want to know about it.
the status quo is okae.. but only because i think we're moving. getting on to somewhere.. haha.. that just reeks of me huhh. i just to have some rough idea of what we're moving towards.. for most things anyways. serious thinking-about-it things. haiz. okae. cannot generalize.
thinking of having a boxing day bbq with e choir.. haha.. yeahh i know, a little bit far away only.. and think about these kind of stuff too soon, somehow won't happen one.. but dunno lah. wld be cool. 4 years really go by quite fast.. i want to get on to learning some stuff that will actually be useful, but.. youth is lost. haiz.
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9:01 pm
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