recently
five hundred thousand lilies
blam! floodlights
it must be tropical fever
snow in a bottle
mochavodka
really shouldn't do it!
steady breath
the spaces in between
soul itch
flambé you!
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08S06S!
layout by: detonatedlove♥
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Saturday, May 10, 2008
verse twenty-eleven •
week has been crazy, i see huilin around like the world
actually is a small place, but oh well. i'm not
a good enough person to have the energy to treasure
with all that heart every moment and person with
that sort of intensity, yet. we keep growing.
i'm sort of sick now but this is one of those times
i've decided to man it and slowly run it dry, rather
than knocking myself out for two days and getting back
into top form. i didn't want to miss a moment of it all.
the music can be devastating to your body as it can be
to your heart mind and soul, what do you know, eh.
it's 17 days till competition tour! i do think i'll
thoroughly soak in as much of chorale as i can in
this time. by no means will chorale be the end of
my affair with singing, but there's just a lot of
unspoken unresolvedness, in my heart anyway. i
don't know if i'm man enough to resolve them, but
the fact is that time waits for no-one, and people
leave. i don't know what to say or do about that,
really, haha. i'll do my best? or not so.. or that
inadequacy is a fundamental state, outside of my
control to address. i wish it otherwise, anyway.
i wish that things had turned out so much
different, that i was a different man, sometimes.
that i might have things some other
more desirous way, from this perspective anyway.
not really thinking straight, haven't been for
a while(you can't really blame me, i'm some sort of
quaternary transition ion that can't be isolated! noo)
but what the hell. the bottom line is that when i do
think i'm thinking straight, i can't imagine anything
that i can see now comparing to what we had then, and
60 months and counting down the road i don't
think i can reconcile myself with anyone
just yet, not with a clear conscience.
die Umarmungen du gab, dass so
entwaffnet mich, wenn auch nicht
zu mir, obwohl Ich hätte es so,
sie füllte mich mit solchen
nackt Sehnsucht nach jenem Augenblick,
dann den Rest des Abends,
damit ich kann keine Ruhe.
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9:09 pm
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