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Saturday, September 01, 2007
what are you looking for, miss? •
been a pretty fine saturday staying home and sleeping in after that.. week, blasting music all day off the hi-fi, hahhaha, nobody can complain. hit the showers then the books, feels odd having the sky all bright already. actually got bunches of stuff done, with a little help, phone line is awesome, you gotta switch from top-up card to appreciate it truly, hehh. super overdue books sitting on my desk, papers waiting for dividers to be filed on the carpet, cross-legged in the corner on the bed with da bear waiting for water to boil. it's times like this when i'm glad i'm still here, that i've survived all this. it'll be an ok world, hey. people just gotta do stuff. much work to be done, gotta ace the promos, haven't flipped through half my new japarchi book, hahha. ex-lit student here, so i'm entitled to coin a new word :D in between work riffled through old sketchbooks, ugh some of my stuff is really horrible.. but there's good stuff in there, messy, i'll get round to compiling my portfolio someday. there's plenty of stuff to do.. one thing at a time. and somehow through all that managed to feel somewhat accomplished as i sit here tonight. need to get out a bit though.. will later on. also need to eat real food. oh well, that would probably have to wait till tomorrow. but already it feels like JC life is running out.. people don't really want to seize all these opportunities, to really know people. ahh.. not tonight. but it's funny sometimes, the inversions a guy gets when somehow something from some dreamland or old photograph of memory pokes him in the head. then i really wonder if that's really how you see me, and how you think i see you. maybe it's just an illusion and we're just scary scared people, heyy. and i realize there are really more relationships, shallow or deep, that i consider pretty private than just that. a lot of times things don't take off, and most of the time it's probably my fault. and for sweeping things under the rug too, when things just go wrong. but then i realize if i didn't think that it was all my fault i wouldn't be complaining and griping and wishing that it was otherwise. it's cause i believe that i could have done something.. but hey, the sands of time, the sands of time, poke me cleopatra, am i really asleep? elder sis and little boy don't all play with little tin cars and exchange ribbons and kisses at the same time or forever, they say hips don't lie but your pristine face is clearly telling me, now. now or never, and the music, hey the music makes me feel all your psychic vibrations and then whoa poof we're starting all over again, it's all about bouncing back from one fall, fall, tumble after the other, even though it's my greatest fear, to be stabbed. but after all the ins and outs and ups and downs from close ones, what's a guy to do. they say, when the one i love isn't near, what can i but love the ones i'm near. 10:39 pm |