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danne |
Sunday, August 19, 2007
finding the poetry in it. •
走在风中今天阳光突然好温柔i don't make much issue of it, but i'm glad that my relationship with my family has sort of become more, well, family-like.. it was taxing, and this is a step in the direction of a more agreeable overall picture. it just goes to show that one's attitude can change the atmosphere.. in this case somehow the past doesn't matter that much. i'm just glad that now. i wonder why. but that's another discussion.. and i am glad that there are no more crashbangs in the house. had a family dinner out tonight, which was unusual.. things are still tight in the house, and there are always tough spots.. still talk about pretty mundane stuff with mom and dad, but hey, that's parents for you. little bro is still helpless as ever.. don't know what to do with him, sigh. but all in all, it feels to actually be able to care about the future of the family. i guess i'm just over the antsinthepants stage of family relations, huhh. dad decided to eat at a chinese place at taka, for some reason. thought it was pretty interesting.. singapore's culture is really quite confused.. the waiters and waitresses were in like suits, they were all pretty young except for one auntie.. and they all spoke english to us, haha.. except for one who seemed to be some sort of minimanager who actually spoke cantonese, so hmm. for some reason chinese culture had evolved into something that just ignores service, health, hygiene and just messes with the food, hahha.. but as Wolf would say, well, tradition needs no reason, heyy. been getting into the mood that seems to have been going around these few days, found a little time lately to do some catching up with a couple of people. but sometimes it seems like people are so far away, ha.. you just, seem so far along in your walk that i'm lost, watching the light coming off you. and twas nice talking a little with huilin, tonight. sometimes just need a little assurance that despite the distance, people aren't growing apart, hmm. at the same time i've to admit that i've been a private ass lately, with insignia and all that. but people are childish sometimes, and i don't know, i was just sorta affected but not really in a position to do anything huhh. i guess it's just a matter of being too complicated and trying to no avail to figure out what was the best thing to do. i don't know that i know what to do now, but i.. will just stop here, haha. it's good to have friends who are actually there. meanwhile every day gives new insights, huhh.. sometimes it makes up and rebuilds faith in people. get to know people that little teeny tiny bit more, and really, it's regret, but it's a good sort, i guess, hahha.. i really, really regret not taking art, especially after that night at ten thirty in school and ian asked me why i didn't.. ah. but in the end we're supposed to grab the opportunities we do have, hmm, and people are only as far off as you make them, supposedly.. but the thing is, and i can't figure out why, when all a guy wants is to get closer, to be able to have that intimate friendship, what's happening is a deep breath, a step backwards and exchanging glances. 1:31 am |