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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
dragonfly's wings •
Taking for granted (taking for granted) ... all of her smiles That got away so much for breaking the continuity of the tedium of life we're back in the emotional poverty cycle, the most exact description of vocalizing these days must have been that one; a day-time psychiatric nightmare. not vocalizing itself though, of course. somehow i've begun to sing with more heart, maybe something broke i bought an music player i'm in medium-major debt once again somehow i don't care for now. i'll get a job or something, i'll eat flowers and thoughts of her breath, i'll draw trees and trees, and trees and forests on your paper journal i'll see you soon, come back from ! what am i? am i a liability, am i a jerk, am i a problem that needs managing with human resource and thoughtful thoughts and placing, how do i articulate the separation, the link that seems to you to be enough, but i see plainly isn't there, we don't voice-dance in the hall before the lecture theater, we don't play anything meaningful on that stage. this is a psychiatric nightmare, i'll have to try harder to be a better person, or even the person i was though there's no escape and no soft refuge when people begin to cry only an day and a half after singing ! this is no time to be discouraged, we're all afraid, this was when we needed the ties of touch and breath and simple, speaking words on our lips i've forgotten what we were singing about, i'm singing about crying out and about things that aren't there oh, great and marvelous are your ways! Lord God Almighty let me stand on the rock, where - oh, great mystery. light, light warm - and heavy, pure pure, as if gold they sing and prophesy! dry your eyes, they chill the body but not the soul, if i can help it at all, if i can help it at all. If you find yourself here on my side of town I'd pray that you'd come to my door Talk to me like you don't know what we ever fought about Cause I don't remember anymore I just know that she warms my heart And knows what all my imperfections are And she said that I was the brightest little firefly in her jar i'm tired, for what people are talking about and that somehow for some reason i had to come to know of it, i don't know. and we'll all have to go at it even more, i'm helpless i'll just weaken myself and sing my soul one last time with us children. i'm sorry! but for all i've done i'm sorry too that you've to be so sure that you're right and well, maybe you can take the time to tell me what and who i am and why i do what i do, as you seem so sure of, when i sing i seem to forget exactly. and maybe i'd ask to know all about you before you decide to walk away and i'll close something that never became more than acquaintance, you can ask a better friend of mine and a closer friend to you why i can't handle you or you or you i'm coarser than i thought, and i'll ask you about you and me and maybe you'll answer me for a while so that maybe i'll ask you early on a polish morning on the porch of a small town motel after we've missed the sunrise, gosh it must have been on purpose, wasn't it. it must have been. 8:45 pm |