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Saturday, October 13, 2007
how much will you take? •
(from us)
after a year and all it's nonsense, days of falling asleep sprawled on the carpet or in the corner next to my guitar and the stuffed toy from my angel, finally i got to get into bed and curl up and go to sleep properly after a shower, an hour into the night.
not after beating myself sore and collapsing exhausted, not after scheming and planning and dreaming while awake and getting about excited about doing things with people, unable to fall asleep for all the adrenaline, not after sitting on the ledge behind the curtain unable to turn in, thinking about troubles now, or worrying about things that i must do, or remembering the past.
not drenched in soaked jeans from running home in the rain with my jacket bundled under my shirt in hopes that i wouldn't have to wash it again, not salty and burnt and tired out from laughing too much. not with damp trousers and a newly filled sketchbook and leaves and grass and bark stuck to my bag.
NOT with a funny voice from hours on end of singing in that way that makes my voice go w0nK, not touched and uplifted from a heart to heart talk, not content from an evening with people and ice cream, a shady table in the corner and warm lights, not after sending anyone home at eleven forty five.
how much do you figure you know, how much do you think you understand? don't take for granted that i forgive so i forget, it's not always something that i do willingly. i wondered what had become of me, i felt like i was hurt but what's with that? if you don't give a damn you'll never feel the stab, eh. they say only the ones you love hurt you, what what. cheers and love then, maybe i've hurt you too.
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11:06 am
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