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danne |
Thursday, October 18, 2007
can't you see all that stuff's a sideshow? •
 i'm not ready, but it's alright. the question is, why is everyone in such a hurry to be happy..? we all grew up, but the someone who used to be so special to me so long ago left me with this, and i haven't forgotten. i don't do this often.. and there's so much more to this than just the beginning, but ecclesiastes 3:1's brought me back before, and now i've been brought to it again. the lyrics went, to ev'ry thing, there is a season.. to ev'ry thing, there is a time.. for ev'ry purpose under heaven.. there is a time,a proper time.. this has really been a major down. things this year that others(if they had known about it) might have been more to me.. well. maybe i was just more prepared for them, in some sense, even though i might have been unable to accept that. the thing that i'm thinking about, anyway, haha. but i'd really tried really, really hard to lock that door and just sit down and blast it out, cause i really don't want to do anything to make it worse than it is. this is just something that, thinking about won't help, so even as i try to pick up the ball again, i'm all about moving on and away, so help me. this was my last chance, as i see it, and i'll admit it, i'm not going to be able to just sit down and cry for you. i need to go elsewhere, i really can't be fooled by these illusions anymore, even if i wanted to be.. sigh. now more than ever i need why is everyone in such a hurry to be happy? everyone's just blaming the whole instant gratification generation thing for every other problem we have as people.. so ok, it's true i guess. technology, pop culture, etcetera.. but it's something that's been a problem. it really hits me how this works for both situations, and others too. most people are just so ready to just sweep everything aside and not settle it properly, just get high and be happy all the time for no real reason, just because.. it's good..? perhaps.. but if you can take this as i mean it and not as you may interpret it, if you're old enough, this sort of thing just can't last.. when we get right down to it, every thing has a reason, and when we cannot grasp it we still feel it and that's where faith and trust come in.. but how do these come into play when there are no grounds for it..? i'm losing faith, how can people be so shallow, so blatantly? it's clichéd, but still. that's another thing, actually. to tell the truth i never liked what i was doing, cause really i never saw anything in this, except the possibility of hurting more people, but i just, stopped thinking and did it, cause i needed.. something? i know i make no sense in doing that, and especially in bringing this up when i'm trying to make a point, but yeah. there's a reason there too, as to why, but i'm not going to say it here. on that note, yeah, i guess i'm tired of being that person. i'm really not always being emo, this is just me. get used to it, when i write i'm serious =) so this saturday's going to be hard, and sunday, and monday, and the following saturday, but i really don't know what will happen, hmm. the truth of the matter is, i don't have a very long attention span unless something really catches me about the something or someone, whatever or whoever we're talking about. but when it's like everything i do doesn't matter a la bohemian, it really hurts, even though i hate it when things are over, and so much is left undone. what's to be done? haha. oh well. i pray i'll always have a refuge. a time to cast away ! to bring together.. a time to be embraced, to be alone.. to find! and lose, to keep, and give.. there is a time, there is a time.. your ways are mightier. 11:59 pm |