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Wednesday, August 01, 2007
don't say it, don't say it. •
the feelings always come hard and fast in those moments, and a guy starts to wonder what he's turning into. why is it happening this way? who can say, it's meant to be. but it's just happening, and somehow i have a bad feelings about it. when you know you'd be addicted to something if you had it, you wean yourself off it and try to reject it when it's given to you. but when it's given so freely.. one just has.. trouble. even though i could probably make a good guess of the ending.
somehow i just keep doing the wrong things, it seems, huhh? i just gotta keep reminding myself not to ask that clichéd question; it doesn't really matter, cause since there's no answer, it's just a matter of what seems to be the best for everyone and yourself. to just keep giving or to shave your head. and not to ask if they come to the same thing in the end.
sometimes i don't know why i am where i am. somehow everyone around me seems different, and the people who are the same as me seem to be across the road. could i have had what i have now without taking this path? and perhaps even more. but at the end of the line it's a little too late for regret, and a guy has to keep believing that he's with good people, because it's scary to be shown otherwise, as one is at times. and i do believe it, that most of the people i know are good people, inside.
it helps to have an outlet.. and the more you learn to smash it up in a way that's safe(mostly), the more effective it gets, haha. and perhaps there will be perks in the end. maybe it's a lesson in itself - why not just throw it where you don't affect anyone negatively. nobody really needs to know about things like this. still, i'm but a student to the soul of the world.
working backwards, why don't you try to turn things inside out as well? you're always doing it anyway, just at times that suit you and nobody else. i don't know what you're upset with.. the world? think a little first. the frames continue clicking.
in other words, go find something inanimate to hurt.
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9:44 pm
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