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layout by: detonatedlove♥
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Saturday, January 13, 2007
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i'll tell myself why i live
i live because everytime i consider the world and the universe in absolute terms, and things are just depressing; When the days stretch into forever
And storm clouds never seem to clear
And it's hard to go on facing each new day i can whip out my handphone and listen to the recording i've got of shaula, xinyi, ruth, sokyin, pamela, carlos, everyone laughing like mad people for no discernable reason, and i can't help but smile and laugh too.
because i haven't begun to sing, nor sung forever with the most beautiful music, with the most beautiful people. it's a fault of mine; it must be, everyone's so negative to it: seniors always seem so perfect, so nice, just so picturesque. maybe it's cause i've never really had any one person to look up to, and i do need someone.. since young i always gravitate to elder people.. no idea why.
people make such beautiful sounds together, and everyone plays such an important part. i cannot begin to describe the feeling.. i really, really hope i can make it into jazz club.
Olha que coisa mais linda mais cheia de graça É ela menina que vem e que passa nun doce balanço, caminho do mar...
Moça do corpo dourado, do sol de
Ipanema
O seu balançado é mais que un poema é a coisa mais linda que eu já vi passar...
Ah! Porque estou tão sozinho
Ah! Porque tudo é tão triste Ah! A beleza que existe
A beleza que não é só minhaque também passa sozinha
Ah! Se ela soubesse
que quando ela passa o mundo sorrindo se enche de graçae fica mais lindo por causa do amor por causa do amor por causa do amor
i live because there are people who i care about who still live also, and i remember my commitment to them.. i can never rest, until they are also safe with my Father and me.. i feel so helpless now, i cannot even help them directly, one by one.. only pray, hint, talk about Him, live the best that i can, trying to do something.. i hope so much on after the thousand years He spoke of. one thousand years.. then what? nobody knows. i can only hope that those whom i love will come. it's hard, so often, to just be still and trust..
i live because i haven't become an architect, haven't learnt how to be one. places are always what hold memories for us, and if you really think about what that means.. places are the spiritual vessels, that will remind us of past times, happy or sad, and just give us that feeling.. that feeling that's so special, even if unhappy stuff happened, we can remember that in the end everything was for good. it's not an investment in this world, it's an investment in the next; to create places that hold memories for people, for eternity. like the church where you played games that i never knew, heard of wistfully, regretting that i couldn't share the time with you; like the homes that you all live and grew up in, every event in your life that changed you, and moved towards greater understanding.. like the schools, shopping centers, clubs, resorts, hotels, any place where you spent time with friends and loved ones, such happy times.. like the road i walk down to my house, hdbs on one side, open skies on the other, terraces lining the sides, cars aloneside the road. things that we'll remember, whether the future be better or worse.
yeah. these are some reasons i live;
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7:14 pm
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