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Thursday, January 11, 2007
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i think i'm just gonna act dumb and do what i can.. sigh. whatever lah. it's just so damn sad. can't express it.. why don't you people see it that way? z.
if that's the way it's gotta be, i wish things would settle down faster, so i can get into rhythm and i can make schedule. people missing from my life.. well, what can i do about it. bah. just gotta continue.. but i'm coming up with excuses to call you up suddenly in the future, so watch it.
math, vocal training, guitar, squash, design, drawing, wiring and plumbing, construction stuff. loads to learn. gotta try to find whoever can help me out with the scholarship problem in school too.. as soon as possible. i think there's some department for that. i guess i'm just going to go on with the plan as if everyone really is there. i simple can't do anything without, so i'll just have to pretend. better to live in denial then moping, i figure. whatever.
everything as planned then.. two years. the one thing left hanging is CCA.. gah. well, hope i settle that soon. i really don't know what i do about that one.
there's just no room for new beginnings even now.. i guess i wasn't all right when RJ was to be my new beginning. there's no room for not being the best at all.. just learning, and being with people. whatever.
whatever lah. i don't know if i'm being stupid or what, cause it could be either way, depending on who you ask. i never planned for failure. what plans there were.. were just for show. never serious. like chorale. i never really planned not to join.. now it's come to this, i'm left hanging when it comes to CCA. gah.
i'm going out. ciao.
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6:11 pm
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