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Saturday, December 30, 2006
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interesting day.. haha.. it still hasn't really sunk in that it's bye to RV. oh well. questions about the future.. i don't really need the answers now. no point spoiling it for myself.
to know that we cannot know, that only so few things are either right or wrong, but daring to make a decision, to choose a path anyway. every step matters.
i'll skim through. nobody has to understand, it's just, saying it out and forgetting what i can, haha..
changes on the way, or are they really? people don't always agree, of course, but we can't always have our druthers. just play along.. see how things turn out. doesn't mean i have to agree with anyone. i'm just not, actively objecting. may things work for the good that is intended, or otherwise.. haha. of course they will.
connecting with people now, i don't want to lose it as time goes by.. and there are others whom i haven't seen yet. gah.. it makes no difference now, but the way i was brought up is screwing with the life i'm trying to make. my childhood was.. sad. wdv.
despite all that i say, i never stopped hoping, you know. i'm really just talking to myself. the story ended before it had begun. maybe that was just the prelude. to make me who i am today, seeing things in the way that i do. i never forget.. and i won't forget the new promises i made, even though things have changed. there's hope in so many places.. sometimes i can't help but think for a second, that just means more chances for disappointment. empty hopes. but when did hope require reason? only since hopes started getting crushed. oh well. eternity carries on despite us all.
yeah.. many hopes. noone to share them with. i dunno why, i just blurt things out. maybe i'm starting to stretch at the seams.. it doesn't matter to anyone.
i watch and wait..
1 comments
9:31 pm
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