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Sunday, July 31, 2005
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i come to you with an open heart
expecting nothing more than just something
past the point of no return
no backward glances
past a thought of "if" or "when"
no overlooked chances
then nothing more
it all did end
before she said
before it began
you've taken my chance
oh most unjust
oh how then, must, this dream end?
fall to humanity
carried up to Him
my fate decided
decided
who am i to judge
your fears
how can i accept my own
my pain in place of yours
is it so?
fear not for life
then why i yours
for must we not all return to Him?
for must we not
all return to
Him
beyond the point of no return
that our passions may fuse and merge
dropped all defences
the final threshhold
beyond the point of no return
it all did end
so beyond the point of no return
my faith departed
beyond the point of no return
i was lifted up
alone.
quite nearly given up all hope. why should it go further? when nobody does bother?
but i'll refrain from breaking into verse again.. it's just that, typing like that, impromtu, it's like, singing without music. hAizz.. whatever.
tag-boards everywhere are good and dead. lagging up the loading of all the blogs. whatever lorh. everything is stagnant again. how come where i'm busy, so much else happens, and when i'm not, nothing seems to? or is it only, more? too much? until i am blinded?
by the way, yes, it is beyond the point of no return, some lines. just share the feeling, somehow.. thank you, Leroux Gaston. lol. there. i've acknowledged.
i havent the slishtest clue what's going on. only what's happening to me. and it's not pretty. complete and utter independence comes my way; to rejoice or to mourn what could have been, if i had perfect parents? hah. as if. but if only better.. what could not have been enough? the circumstances before me, and worse, that's what. anyway, i'm preparing myself to move out. i want to make the possibility there, so that in a twinkling, i could do it, once there is a place. i'm preparing everything.God's will be done, hAiz.. i dunno what to say. it's messing me up. but i know where i stand, and i stand justified by the Word, and as a bonus, my morals and logic.. it's enuff.
i get the feeling that not a lot of people will understand the later patr of the verse, after rereading. lol. yayy for complicated english. anyways, all my other subjects are so screwed, with the exception of chemistry and philosophy that i'll prbably have to major english or music or some pathetic thing like i dunno.. some crap. not accountancy. i'd rather live with just A level certs. bah. i dunno what to do now. there's work, that i've been chansed for for a long time by my group members. i know it's wrong to involve them, but.. i just never felt like i was i part of the group. i was just thrown here after not being allowed to be with the people i loved by teachers. these are strangers, they have no life, no care for logic and reasoning, totally shallow. and they're MEP; how they do so well in music is beyond me. must be those, totally just doing for the sake of it kinda people. either that or hopeless pathetic manga-anime absorbed freaks. whatever makes you happy, you know?
i really should just shut up and go and do the da*n project reflections, but i have no idea what to write. one and a half pages. what would i say? they have let em do nothing, because i am not educated in music. but it is so much more a part of my life.. whatever. cease to judge. is anyone there? bah. whatever. just wanna say, you know who you are. if you wake up tomorrow and i'm dead, or any other day, just wanna say.. you know who you are. i love you.
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8:39 pm
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