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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
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was just reading the little publication by the juniors in church.. it's interesting really.. there was this article in it, see.. aiyahh.. dowan to quote, later make ppl think i what, so bad.. but..
basically what it's saying is, we should watch what we blog, and that our blogs are public places, so we shouldn't express ourselves completely here.. our anger and frustration, etc etc..
my thoughts when i saw this immediately was.. if it's your thoughts, why can't they be shared? if you have such ugly thoughts, that you are ashamed to show others, such vulgar intentions that cannot be told publicly, then how is it that you even have them? you get it? it's like what we always talk about, knowing a sin and still committing it. just because you don't express it publicly, doesn't make it right.
you might say, at least it doesn't spoil our testimony as Christians, but really, as Christians we really shouldn't harbour such thoughts against people..right? sounds wierd coming from me? well.. it's one one to say, and other thing to do.. and so it is for all of us.. the truth is mine, and i make it a point to let people know.. we're humans, and we always make stupid decisions, or we don't make decisions at all. we just do things without thinking. but what matters is, even if we meant what we did at that time, there's a change in opinion, in heart. cause, isn't that the part of the foundation of our faith? turning away from what's bad, as far as we can? and when we do err, to seek forgiveness and even more, avoid to fall down the same hole?
well.. that's said and done.. haizz.. suddenly, i think, am i being very bad to people ah. it's just that.. it's my habit. no - my belief; my moral standard. if something is wrong, don't do it, or say it, or think it, or whatever. if you are unsure, find out. if you are completely unaware that something might be wrong, pay attention when someone tells you so, and seek evidence to find whether or not it is indeed, something bad. that's it. the truth is mine; there should really be no need to hide. if we have something to hide because it is bad, then something is really wrong with our morality, with our spirit. i really don't think i can take that; and i don't think i want to grow to tolerate it either.
when i hide something from you, despite you persisting, it's because we're not close enough, not close enough for me to feel comfortable telling you those certain stuff. in the real world, i really aren't close to anyone at all. at least not by my measurements of "close". but in my dreams, hah.. you really don't have to know. cause.. well you know.
must two people have the intention of becoming soulmates to even have the oportunity of becoming the truest, closet friends? it's plain to see that even in these circumstances it's not always occuring. but why.. why can't people just, embrace others who are in their lives, and let everyone, this group of people, be as one, close knitted community? perhaps there are things we might not understand of each other, or things that others shouldn't know.. there are such reasons, despite it all. perhaps certain knowledge might make someone do something rash.. or other situation. life is what uncovers all these exceptions in my standards, in my beliefs. it continues on. alone. why? am i not surrounded by people?
ahh. there are too many worries, too many thoughts. it's time to sleep. so i'm going to sleep. g'nite, all...
-friedtunes: Kitaro - An Enchanted Evening -
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11:16 pm
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