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layout by: detonatedlove♥
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Saturday, May 14, 2005
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stating facts huh. you really like to state facts.
let me state some facts for you. i hate my parents. since my very existence in your vicinity is an antagonisation to you, let me do "the only thing in my power to do for you at this age". I swear that as soon as i have the monetary ability to get out of your physical household, i will. I will desist from coming into physical cnotact with you for any reason except to make you get as far away as i deem comfortable from me as possible, and i will make no demands on your moral or mental standards.
there. i finially swore something. something substantial. a full life of verbal and physical skirmishes does nothing. abstaining from swearing anything has done nothing. this i swear, before God and all the people of the world.
i will get out. and further from you than you may ever have imagined. physically and emotionally. the only thing i have to say to you that means anything anymore is this: thank you for all the "experiences" you have given me; i can no longer get too emotionally upset due to anger, only to crush the cause of anger so i need not be angry any more. and no further.
now.
go away.
* * *
past few days have been very... forgettable. so many things have been happening, i really don't know what to think. how to interpret it all. somehow, now, it's all gone.
maybe it's like the omens, as they say. ignored, they leave. yet in another, still ironic way. escapism... subconciously, we erase them. our of our memories. and so i'm left standing. and so i'm still alive.
there's so much i want from myself. other things i already expect. yet somewhere deep inside.. i know which are the things i can achieve in time; the things that i cannot ever; the things than i could do now, if only; other things, which i can accomlish, but never will. by force or by choice; so.. vague, it is. by human nature, we struggle with ourselves, we struggle with our environment, we struggle with right, and wrong, and God and rules. utterly and hopelessly loss, and God is my only escape. *sigh*~ praise the Lord for His... very existence.
all things in time. all things in time~
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3:09 pm
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