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Thursday, December 28, 2006
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yeah, i'm just about ready to leave it all behind. i probably had hoped too much, but they all had to be shattered at the same moment, so what the hey. i don't have to be a part of all this foolishness, as much as i love people, it's become a different sort of relationship, a different sort of emotion. i didn't know what was before, so i just assumed the best; now i know what isn't.
it all lies on a few simple things in the end, and at the bottom of the pile is: common sense. it's all common sense, what to do. it should have been built into you: i believe it was. are you going to blame the Maker now? no. you lost it, of you didn't develop it. it's the talent that everyone was given, and now it's not only buried, but lost.
laughter and fun is all very good, but in the end you have to know. it's the mind over body, thought over action. no matter what you do, you have to be aware, to have the consciousness. otherwise there's no purpose. why do you exist for eternity then?
sigh. i'm sick of it all. i can't turn to elder people that much. it's just something that was built into me along the way. certain things, yes, but it has to be us. i thought girls matured faster.
i can imagine so many ways i could be wrong, or judged, but just stop for a second and think why i'm writing all this. to get people upset? if that's what you think.. i'm sorry.
i'm not a very smart person, as i said. it's a side effect that i can't control. it's a message that you have to understand.
because i care.
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8:37 pm
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