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Monday, February 13, 2006
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the whole night sucked after that, and when i finally slept, such conflicting, confusing, frustrating dreams. that morning i know i was really ugly about what may have appeared to be nothing to you guys..
skipped meals and threw myself into work to take my mind off it all, but even as i finished, the sense of reality returned with depression.
but then you came, and made us look silly, and made me laugh about who i am; i had thought i never could again for a while, but you just had to come and burst my bubble, eh you.. haha.. i don't know what you were thinking, or how you will feel, but i just want to say thanks, you made me smile again when i really needed to. thank you, so much.
kai,
sunday 11.49pm
trying to be more optimistic about it all today, what made it happen was probably her.. lol.. what is it with the lose super messy hair with people these days. just saw yesterday, and when she suddenly turned up looking like that, had to hide my face and laugh silently.. haha.. i guess she's getting ready for tmr. we never talk.. haha.. but maybe she smiled when she saw my reaction.. lol..
SS project presentation today, that rawking website tt i took weeks to organize and clean up.. aguss bagus comes and tells me website is not graded.. haiz.. but i gave him the CD anyway. maybe he'll take the time to look at it and give us a bit more marks.. haha..
food for thought was, preparing for the presention before recess, we were talking about the possibility of aguss not being able to make it today for various reason.. then jun da was like, fried, you can be damn pessimistic or optimistic huhh.. lol.. it's just my way i guess. extremes. but no boring stuff today. i can't take it.
practice today seemed better, to me anyway, prob cause they really sucked at the beginning then after like, forever, they started sounding kinda better.. but toh was all, i enjoyed practice two weeks ago so much more than today, and stuff.. lectured the SLs for a whole hour.. haiz. then kangjie was presented his ipod shuffle for his birthday today, and he kept going omg, ni men zhai shua wo ah.. haha.. tt's the nice effect from giving shuffles to people. this time i nv contribute.. didn't remember his bdae.. aww.. but gave b4. always the same reaction. =)
but even though, it's not that fun being SL.. it's just tricky. one person can't really play the goodguy-badguy game with these people.. how do you be really friendly and relax one moment then angry-serious the next? haiz.. but today, just gave up and gave it to them lah. some people still want to bo chup. you continue you'll get it from me. i think choir peeps will know what kind of mood swings i can have best..
overall, it's a floaty invisible i don't exist kind of feeling, but i keep having to tell myself, aaaaargh, there's so much work, i have to get started NOW, i have to get started getting started NOW, i have to get started planning how to get started starting NOW, etc. yeah. but somehow things get done one by one. i just hope this keeps up.. i really need to do shuper well this year to make up for last year.. still can't forgive myself. but it's also partly their fault.. stupid never tell us sec 3 was counted 50% for JC admittion.. people taking O levels at least know tt O levels is all that matters. they only told us like, after we got back our results and saw how badly we screwed up.
on smaller issues, i want to print a different color of the new choir t-shirt.. their doing white and light blue on a dark blue base. i'm convinced green and alittle grey on a white base will be so much nicer, and even better if it's a white polo. therefore shall try to get a white polo and find some t-shirt printing shop to help me print one on a while polo first and show them how much nicer it is.. hurhur.. if they insist oso nevermind.. i get the nicer shirt. muaha.
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9:13 pm
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