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Monday, July 18, 2005
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ughhhhhhh... what to do.. so irritating, feel so stupid and useless.. what's the point of being there if in the end i can't even do anything, anything to ease the pain, you don't even know i'm here??? wtf... ughh.. feels so stupid and broken up when you just pop like that.. wish i cld just give a call to comfort, but what wld i say? "are you okae?"?? that's the stupidest thing ever to say.. i've heard it way to many times, i know. it's pretty obvious that you're nt okae, or u wldn't even be acting this way, i wldn't even be feeling this way.. etc etc blah blah blargh..
i can't believe i'd forgotten for so long.. well, the few weeeks seemed like a long time, and now that i realized and came back just in time, i still feel so helpless.. ughh..
it's just that kind of feeling that's like, you want to grab that person, and just hold and hug, just to make sure you don't do anything stupid, you know? cause anything can happen when we're feeling like that.. ughh..
then i remember the stupidest things that i've done, the stupidest, stupidest things that i've allowed other people to do to you, just standing by and doing nothing about it... it cld have hurt you, or it did, but i could have done something and i did nothing.
and now it's happening again, only now it is hurting you, and i don't know what i can do.. i can't say there's nothing i can do, because there simply has to be something.. ughh...
what on earth am i supposed to do??????
WHAT?
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8:23 pm
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