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danne |
Monday, July 18, 2005
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harlow, it's like four plus in the mornign now.. woke up shuper early, like 3.50.. no idea wat time i slept, but i think it was pretty early.. around nine i think.. lol.. david was watching some top ten deadliest sharks thing so i was down there next to the sofa then started dropping off.. then think abt allll the hw i haven't done. and is due tmr, not to mention the humongous pile that is alread overdue.. aaah what the heck. so i went to bed.\and then i woke up at arnd 3.50 lorh. lol. thinking and thinking..haha.. it's like, night is the time for thoughts, riight? for me anyways.. hm, but yesterday i dropped off early, so no idea where this came from. ranodm compilation, i guess, but it's as sincere as any. been thinking. yesterday ruth's family transferred from shalom to sbbc. hohum. i was like, huuurr?? ruth's parents, even her younger sister i've seen before in shalom, budden nv seeen her there? hmmm.. my own fault bah, guess tt time was too self-absobed, internal conflict blah blah. yah, excuses excuses.. but really. yeesh. dunno lah, may be my ego toking, but for sum reason tink tt you're here huh. or have been. i mean, internet is a mysterious place, you're a mysterious girl. seems plenty of people have been here and i never knew until they said or something, like pamela and kang etc =) but ho hum, you're.. esoteric? ahah.. from thesaurus, check it out yourself =P but even that? how shld i know? haiz.. i don't know what's going on in a lot of people's heads; the people's heads which i wonder about what's going on inside =X grammer, lol. but you're especially mysterious, eh? hmm.. thinking too much bah. haha.. it's pitch black outside, maybe that's why i'm typing this sorta crap. oooh, the secretism of typing at night, or rather early morning. lol. as if it's any different from blogging at any other time of the day. oh wells. hmm.. don't people wonder what other people think of them? i do.. but don't feel so easy about actually finding out, riight? haiz.. dunno lah. i tink i gotta shut up. but haven't i just learnt that i have to just shut up and talk? diaoz.. *** okae.. just looked around.. suddenly everyone's hurt, you know? in some wa or another.. everyone needs help. i'm starting to think that it's always so, cause we can always use a little help and a little love even if we think it's alright. but it's really my fault, huuh. haiz.. when troubles strike me, i almost forget all about friends and people around me.. housing isnt' an immediate problem, i guess, cause he's nt tt close to throwing me out yet i guess, and money well, i'll live. good thing i kept my own stash, lol, xi fang qian.. so i 'ave two hundred odd to live on. lol. it'll last me a while, i think. nt tt i can afford to buy much else, tho. until something works out.okae, but there i am thinking about my own stuf again. haizz.. it's already when things start to look alright for me after all, then i look around and ses people who crave love and help, and i see the solutions to problems.. but why can't i do that to myself..? hyporacy..? ughh.. then i'll say, these people need to pick themselves up. doody doody do. but that was before. i see how idiotic that was now. ughh.. so i guess that's why we need one another.. huhh? pang guan ze qing.. helping one another is the only way, cause we can't help ourselves; it wouldn't be called needing help if we could, would it now? haizz.. well, so much for wasting time on the computer, it's 4.45 liaoz, gonna go shower. i really hope that something will come of this.. haha.. i used to pride myself for being the on who stood by and saw everything that passed in the worlds i lived in.. but now it's different. is that even something to be proud of? don't think so.. standing by and doing nth? wt-... and now i'm pretty sure i haven't seen close to half of everything at all. the craziest things that elude me. the things that i should have been paying the most attention to escape my sight. or is it that i flee these things in my mind, so i could not perceive them? haiz. kae.. i'm going.. i wish i could go out and do stuff.. frmo my point of view, freedom from the education system is really much.. because earning a living can't be that hard, can it? it's all about what you expect, really.. i used to dream of higher things, and i still do.. but this is the world after all, and it won't last long at all. so it's fine. we're able bodied people, and have to thank God for that.. there are so many ways to pay for your meal and lodging, you know? i believe there are still people in this world who believe in the litereal expression of the sharing of souls.. the fellowship of hearts.. there has to be, i have seen the places in people amongst which such things would happen. if they can happen, why wouldn't they? because these are good things.. why shouldn't people desire them, and seening that it is within reach, grab them, with no fear of any backlash? okae.. toking too much liaoz. i better go before it's too late.. buaiz.. 4:19 am |