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Sunday, May 21, 2006
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"Winter, Spring
Summer and Fall
Four Seasons
Four Loves"
sick. hhaha.. it's a funny tale. friday missed choir for choralfest, with geof, weiren, julian, linan and chris. weiren had chauffeur, chris had a pilot, while julian disappeared mysteriously. linan crossed over to take a bus, and geof and me decided to walk down to the next bus stop. reach already, bus still not there. so walk another. then another. while going to the third, 67 zoom pass us(metaphorically.. lol), so we say, aiyah, just walk summore.
repeat like, 7 or 8 or 9 bus stops. along the way found 7eleven, so bought frozen elango(cornetto), and more or less walked all the way from CCAB to err, somewhere after Hwa Chong i think. by then wasted dunno how much time liaoz, lol.. really. choralfest finished @ 5.30, we more or less got home at 7.30 i think. or 8 0.o
before that already coughing bah.. budden dowan see doc, inthe end khoo not in on saturday, so went to see some other lady doc. dun trust her..*shifty eyes* she say nt serious as bronchitis yet, nv give antibiotics. huhh. well.. doesn't seem to be getting better, but it may just be me. see how lah.. but hate this kind of crap. why i singer, then me airways keep kena-ing?!
holidays is bunches again, with choralfest, dates all confirmed, choir, not. choir prac 9 to 1 on 9th.. haiz.. clash with youth camp. but dun care lah.. i think can arrange somehow. wait till closer.. toh isn't there so i'm not too worried.. but if i'm needed, stilll will make it down one lah.. graduating soon, haha.. better do my part while i can..
and sooo.. missing two sundays of church in a row. huhh. conbined concert next week. it's going to sound really shitty. people just not taking it as a really important thing lah.. just an "on the way" concert before our own choir concert.. that's why everything is so shitted up. meh. dunno lah.. but there'll be auditions for choir concert, no doubt about tt.. work hard ah guys..
... i almost forgot. four loves. hAha.. that song's got some sort of a special meaning to me.. lol.. i'm been more or less obsessed with this series for a while, which is quite something. never been really addicted to Tv or anything, and whooo, now i'm on youtube dling movies. cool. haha.. but if you get the idea behind the series, it's something quite deep actually.. four seasons, four loves.. it's the thing that was, how you say, the final straw that made me really frustrated with the world system now.. and made me start thinking about those tribalism and world order things..
but i guess the world is just what it is. and the world that will be will be just how it will be. it's just.. frustrating, that there's nothing i can do to determine it's course, to shape certain things. haha.. big talk for little man, but i dunno why i feel this way. people have dreamt up such wonderful worlds and societies.. so why can't we make them happen? cause of human flaws? will there ever be a time when we don't have these flaws? and when the time comes, will any of these dreams come true? will all of them? how? too many questions.. just ends up making one feel utterly useless and helpless..
i guess in the end there's nothing to do but wait and trust. in the end that's all it can come down too.. feel really helpless. i can't help to shape the kind of world people dream of, and it's just, hard to bring those whom one loves to that which awaits us. the assurance we have is that it is good. but questions just spring up.. questions about this, questions about that.. haiz.. it's hard to just don't think about it. questions that one isn't supposed to ask.. what awaits us, really?
troubled nites, restless hours.. work to be done that just isn't, plans that can't be made becasue of sheer uncertainty, duties thrust upon me.. i'm tired.
a man needs his rest.
but i can't.
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8:49 pm
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