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Wednesday, August 10, 2005
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wtf.
... ...
why can't anyone understand.
nothing gets me more upset than when despite everything i do, nobody understands, and just keeps talking.
and just keeps talking about their perception, and their interpretations, and their hypothesis.
why doesn't anyone want to try to understand?
i want to to try to understand.
but why can't anyone let me understand them?
why can't anyone understand me?
aren't all these people i know or not, love or hate, aren't they all made in the image of God? aren't i made in the image of God? why can't we understand each other?
why do people just stick to their thinkings? who is really open-minded? **** all that damn lessons in school, social studies and all that crap. why can't you just speak simple logic?
why isn't there anyone?
it's not that i haven't tried to look.
i've tried.
i've tried a bit.
i've been afraid to ask many of the people who i know, so many.. the people who think they knew me, a bit. and they probably do. a bit. but what is a bit to eternity?
why have i been willing to try to talk to the people who gave birth to me, who delivered me into this world physically after God had formed me? despite the so many times they have only torn me up and thrown me down, discouraged me every step of the way, in every endevour i tried to take?
why have i been willing to try to open up to these two people, to try to open them up to me, despite all the heartache they give me, despite all their self-pride, belief that they know everything and are the ultimate authority, despite everything that they profess, despite calling themselves Christians? despite professing to believe the same things that i do?
can there really be anger because of love?
doesn't the Bible say that there isn't?
doesn't it?
is it because i've been living physicaly with them? because i feel indebted to them for all the things they felt that they have been forced to provide me with? because i am commanded by Law uncorruptable to respect them?
what kind of stupid reasons are those?
why couldn't i have just tried to open up to others more? why couldn't i have just ..
why didn't i just fall that time?
why won't anyone try to answer me?
why won't anyone let me answer them?
why won't anyone be there?
why haven't i got someone?
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10:05 pm
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