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danne |
Friday, August 19, 2005
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soo bludy tired.. dunno why. hahh. poo.bball wif arnold and geof, lol, so i can't take them two on one. whatever. at least 5-10, right? not bad liaoz, summore got nobody to feed me the ball lah, tt's what's important. den go geof's palce do photos thing, finaly solved to transitions problem, now can just throw it to someone to do the menial task of putting in the 500 photos one by one, muahahah... oh yea, then RCS AGM, geof is secretary, wah wah. lol, expected he get some post lah, he's been doing everything, then GEPpers dun no do what, den get all the main posts. whatever lah. me, i join in sec one but never go, then this year then started going, lol, dunneed to expect anything. haiz, today wala come back to class and tok kok again, all sorts of excuses lah.. actually, almost everyone is a nice person when they're sane.. with the exception of those few lah.. those ppl, i really wu hua ke shuo. wala is quite sad, so i'm glad i thought about it and realized earlier.. she said that the reason she quit practicing law even tho she was put through law sch was cause she had to do some "unethical stuff".. dunno what lah, oso duneed to know, cause ethics is an individual opinion.. you can't manipulate and judge other's morals, cause morals and based on beliefs.. you can pursuade, you can make it seem that it's otehrwise because it is, but otherwise, you can't do anything, and you shouldn't. morals.. there are many, but then there are the right and wrong, then there are those that are really up to you to decide. so, whatever. got back assignment 9, it's like, whoopee, 92 percent, lol.. all other math assignments got 50 percent and below except for assignment one at de beginning of the year, lol.. so this piece is going into the stupid math portfolio for sure, hur hur.. now all i ened is one test and one performance task with good results.. not much time left to do ah, gotta hand in portfolio soon.. Raffles Programme is total shyt lah.. today it's really confirmed liaoz, everything that we suspected.. cause a teacher told us, hurhur, wun say who, skully tt person kena frmo board of governers or something. RP is really totaly SHYT, cause nothing was planned. they just said, okae, lets change the teaching system then let the students go into RJC without taking O Levels!!!!! those Assholes. no teaching system was formulated, no regulations, nothing. everything was left up to the teachers teaching now, and then they said that these teachers, as the poineers, wld decide what the RP wld be like, how they teach if good, then will be copied by future teachers. uuuuugh. frik it. seriously cannot tahan these assholes. now i try to do O level past year papers, can't do a shyt, then alter go A levels u ask me to catch up on everything????? friks dous. you bastards who didn't give a shyt whether or not we get on as well as other students who are taking o levels are going to ruin our lives or some shyt. you can go, oooh, it's nt our fault, u all can go and study all the normal O level curriculem urselfs. then WTF, why the hell am i paying two hundred bloody dollars to come and be told to go and study myself?? wtf. 200 bucks a month. u think i'm frikkin full of money? i have to borrow money to go on a frikken competition to REPRESENT THE BLOODY SCH. one good thousand, now i've sumhow paid back using savings. gd thing my parents at least help me paid 1000(i won't say how every single other person in the choir was fully paid by parents), but next year there's to be another competition overseas, and how the shyt am i to come up with the cash? thank goodness a flight was cancelled on this trip, and they decided t compensate us with 503 Singapore dollars. that'll go to sending me overseas next year for the competition, then there's new year cahs, say a hundred. i'd be dancing if there was even 150, hahahahah.. but what the hell, nobody owes me that money. i shldn't really even be expecting it. frikken knows why i am. bloody money. if only there was never a need for it. blargh.. sometimes it really like, suddenly i stop and ask myself, why the heck am i doing what i'm doing? why do i laugh, why do i cry, why do i blow up, why do i even think why? why do i dream of things when i'll probably never be able to acheive them, for aren't so many people against me, and ever so many more who don't give half a crap? uuuugh.. just blardy tired. maybe i'm just realizing the full entity of this tiredness now cause i'm really, really physically tired now for sum unknown stupid reason.. i wake up feeling tired, on MRT standing for da 1/2 hr trip feeling tired, flag raising feelinging tired, classes, duneed to say, i even sleep in some, hahh.. if i really totally can't understand at all what the teacher is saying, tt is.. or if it seems that tchr is repeating everything over, and very slowly.. haiz, got things to ask, can ask after lessons riight? ahhahaha.. like me, then kau hlep me and annan two ppl only, then two of us actualy dunno how to do one, then do until 90 plus percent.. of course all those other idiots got 90 sumthing percent, but this doesn't come to me every day, it's like a 200% improvement from the average score last semester, i got 30% lorh.. den summore i never copy. sumtimes i really wonder why i do things lorh. like, wtf, just copy the damn thing and hand it in, and get t3h marks??! dats's what everyone else is doing, and that's how they're all "doing so well in class"... and the most rediculous things about it is, they still can do well in tests. normal tests they just copy again, but then semester tests, i haven't a clue how they do it. quite difficult to copy, no? just a recent test, feng shuo just put da note on his left and test on his write and just refer and answer everything. if he dun get blardy high for his bio test, i tok diao. but nooo, u gotta act wei da liek a idi0t and just dun hand in, get get Gero for everything. bardy stupid faggot, think ur so big deal, wah wah i never copy. friks lah. and den, another thing is, why u ppl are so sure u know stuff? how do u know why people are behaving in certain ways?? are u sum sort of blardy psychologist? even if u are hor, what makes u so shure anyway? just cause everyone else who acted liddat had tt problem because of blah blah blah?? GENERALIZATION. frikken. it may solve a lot of problems, but then it also causes a lot more. like bias and racisim and all the other -ism-s. frikken. people are good at acting okae. and there are reasons. and there's no reason why u shld think tt the person doesn't know why he or she is doing what he/she is unless tt person says so. so frikken zi. acting.. putting up a front. ugh. u just have to know there are reasons, okae? sumtimes it can be fixed by u doing sumthing on ur part, like clarifying sumthing, or just plain taking care of urself, understanding why we aren't doing sumthing. a lot of times it's cause what u want us to do wld hurt u. frikken, u might think who cares, i don't mind, i blardy asked u to do it. but wtf, dun want u to get hurt, i caint do it maan. and dun think i'ma gonna sit a around-a and let u hurt urself neither. then there are other times, ever ever ever so seldom, when u shld really just screw off. but really, if tt's the case the person wld just tell u, if he had half a brain. but then again maybe dun really want u to go away, but there's just problems. it's a complicated crapload, okae??? asjkdnoasnkdoansdopfnapwerogtnaopweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruweruiv buhasdnkgwwjo[aweripghiprgjQ{ Q{ Q{ Q{ Q{ Q{ 90j wioejuo vt89wrhieruthuirgpsuo[ okae. whatever. ugh. just dun always assume u know, tt uralways right, that things are how they seem. i'm not talking about perception only either, i'm talking about how u feel that it is, or hypothesize or any other cheemo words u can think up. whatever. memories ruch back to disppear again whatever.. everything just goes on and ignores me, but why shouldn't it? why should anyone care? choir prac tmr, gonna for pool on sunday, etc etc etc. everything echos way too loud. my ears hurt. and i'm beginning to doubt the birds. what's happening? 8:12 pm |