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08S06S!
layout by: detonatedlove♥
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006
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ah hello. i'm back again to speak some intelligible english. feeling.. more at ease, compared to.. three weeks back. RE is coming to a close, it's not done with me yet, but i feel i've got it under control now. the end is at hand.. the good kind of end =) the kind of end that brings fresh starts with more hopes..
of late i've been really.. captivated by some people. we've really not done that much, but there's just something special. i can't help but expect that much from our future; because from where i'm standing, it all looks so beautiful. but there's something i still have to do.. i'm trying hard to do it. i need to get it said, and done, before i can live at ease.. with these friends, and with.. some other people whom i love and remember.. let this be the aim of my life. to complete this task, then i can live the rest of my days at peace with God.
walking back from school late, finally tasting home-cooked meals again as a result of the ulu-ness of the neighbourhood, staying out late with friends.. the sky where i live now is so emotive in the evening to the night. even as the sun abandons it, you can still see its face.. something that's more than can be said for certain people, whom i would wish the same.. david's playing some (useless) educational software on the laptop, parents messing around in their room. i'm designing the class t-shirt, as the school year ends and i get ready for a fresh start, despite the discouraging tale my seniors bring.. the hope lies in the thought, maybe it'll be different for me. i'll work hard for it.. i will.
as i learn more and more of the world, i come to love music more and more, but choir seems to become.. wierder. i'm not going for the overseas competition to austria and solvenia this december, because i don't have the money and of this wretched pneumothorax. i'm not to fly till next year at all, and flying anytime has the chance of making my lungs collapse just like that. takeoff, then i die. plus, no deepsea diving or mountain climbing, but even that isn't as devastating as not being able to go to places without the fear of waking up in a hospital with tubes stuck into me.
i'm waking up to my dream world, slowly, because i choose to live in such a world. the world as we see it is really just our imagination, because there are so many things that we don't see anyway, so i've decided to see the world like this. like this, i won't miss out on the things that i need to do, and i'll see the things that i want to see. that's zen, lol. like this, i can really love, everything.
ahh. but i really want to sing. it's just not fair, how westerners have such great voices.. i'll learn and see how. hahAaha..
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9:37 pm
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