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Sunday, January 30, 2005
crushed for nth~ •
beh.. e weekend is gone so fast.. no seriously, saturday like, didn't exist, then now sunday's gone. i'll be glad to have my saturdays back after the choir concert... i haven't done my wondering aimlessly around singapore routine. maybe the next time i can find sumone to drag along =P more fun.. but just one or two..
hahaha... read reader's digest, boys oso have PMS okae... just not called PMS, is sumthing else, forgot whats e acronym liaoz. mood swing thingy. like i didnt know, peeps are like.. are u ok? herms. why does it seem like only me leh. everyone is like.. so dead. e guys. wah liaoz. dunno what/how to say lah. wee.. depression time liaoz loh. haha.. watch teen titans just now.. terra is slade's apprentice, then get all e info on titans to gif him.. if u got watch, beastboy like got dis crush on her lah, so its like dam sad.. thinking crappy stuff again lah. remembering stuff. imagining stuff. like the trip in korea. like celeste and sok ying and peiyi & e others. like back in California. esp e 6K years.. do i really look like i got gf..? haya.. dun haf lah okae.. got ppl will kan shang wo loh.. v sure.. ahhah.... im totally.. hopeless. at... stuff. yea. wateva. after concert i gotta go find myself again. really wish someone will come wif me.. anyone lah.. anyone who actually cares. everyone cares so much about themselves.. then when i try to begin to, it seems so wrong, so evil to, then i go back to trying to help others wif stuff. worrying abt stuff tt has like, nth to do wif me, if i didn't want it to. maybe i bottle up for too long bah. before toh came to speak wif me was stupid. so i guess i have to thank him. but he didn't help me directly. tt time i was just brooding and like completely screwed. nth helped. then he came and tried to butt into my life. screw off, i says. i can be happy if i want to. so wee, back to e sec 1 version of me, its like, yay! choir! blah blah along wif all e other peeps, super enthu singing. yea well. now cooled down liaoz. there's song like, pok pok, u gotta laugh as part of e performance. how. i'll so screwed, there's nth to be really happy about. i can't laugh. not really. and i can't pretend to laugh. its just not right. then when i smile or laugh, tt stupid toh thinks i'm laughing at what he says or sumthing, suan me, say why i laugh, its not funny blah blah. i'm trying to be happy here u ass. its bad enuff without u. i'm aleady trying not to let u upset me or anyone further. beh.. do i got a gf..? nah.. wld tt be a good thing? wld just a normal friend be good? why do i feel so out of place everywhere.. do i make my self? why do i? what da heck is wrong wif me?? 10:04 pm |